Emotional Health And Wellbeing

How to tell if someone is Immature

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"How to tell if someone is Immature"
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Man has accomplished incredible feats over time, as is evidenced by evolving technologies and other signs of progress. But human nature, incredibly, remains much the same.

No matter how much the intellect grows, emotional matters are something entirely different. In fact, some of the greatest minds have been unable to conquer basic interpersonal skills.

One problem that plagues countless people is emotional immaturity. While a person may grow older and may achieve many things, his emotional development may be delayed.

People who are emotionally immature can be very challenging to deal with, as their ability to interpret and to react to life situations is often impaired. If you are married to someone with emotional issues, you probably face great challenges in dealing with your spouse's moods and behaviors.

Perhaps you are not sure if someone you care about is underdeveloped in the emotional arena. Below are some signs of emotional immaturity.

* When things go wrong, it is always someone else's fault.

One of the easiest ways to spot emotional immaturity is finger pointing. People with emotional problems almost never assume accountability for problems in their lives.

Instead, it is everyone else's fault. Their ability to find fault in others often defies logic.

If they overdraw their checking account, for example, it is the bank teller's fault. It magically has nothing to do with their money management issues.

If someone at work reacts to the emotionally immature person's inappropriate emotional outbursts, then it is the co-worker's fault. After all, this person's behavior or words caused the outburst.

When you are dealing with someone who always blames others, you will find it painstaking to try to talk sense into them. The emotionally immature refuse to see things from someone else's point of view.

Even worse, they refuse to own up to their part in things. After all, they tend to think the world is against them.

* Emotionally immature people are highly sensitive-but only to things done to them, not things they do to others.

Emotionally challenged people claim they are highly sensitive. If you even look at these people the wrong way, they may seek retaliation.

Yet they expect you to deal with whatever they dish out, including rude and moody behavior. You are supposed to accept them as they are, but somehow they cannot accept your flaws.

More than likely, they often feel persecuted by any behavior they deem as unfair or insensitive. Sadly their perceptions are often very skewed and inaccurate.

* Emotionally immature people are victims. Bad things happen to them, but their poor choices play no part.

Emotionally immature people enjoy playing the role of victim. They refuse to see how their poor choices often lead to consequences.

As victims, they will often greatly distort reality, omitting certain things that happened or taking words out of context. These emotionally challenged people will often pick dating partners who will side with them no matter what.

They like to create battles and often seek drama. Such drama allows them to reinforce their victim role and to seek revenge-often over things that did not play out as they say they did.

* Relationships are often short lived.

For the emotionally immature, it is challenging to maintain relationships of any substance. The reason is that such people often turn their friends into enemies-over the smallest perceived slight or threat.

Compromise is almost impossible for the emotionally immature. They will cut off ties with people who will not give into them all of the time. Or people will distance themselves from the emotionally immature, as they tire of their unreasonable demands.

These are but a few signs that someone is emotionally immature. While you may have compassion for such people, it's important that you recognize if you are dealing with someone with emotional issues.

You may feel that you can fix this person. But in reality, the issues are often deeply seeded, and you may find it highly challenging to have a fair relationship or friendship with someone who is emotionally immature.

More about this author: Ann E. Smith

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