Personality Disorders

How to Live with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder



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Since people with narcissistic personality disorder live within all aspects of our society, we find that sometimes we end up living not only among them, but with them. More often than not, the narcissist will be intelligent, charming, socially engaging and able to hide his or her narcissistic attitude long enough to fool at least a few human beings into living with them. Other times, the need for tips in dealing and living with a narcissist will be due to the fact that he or she is related to someone who is not looking through a narcissistic view. This fact tends to lead to relationship and social issues which become hard to survive.




HOW TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE WITH A NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER:




According to the Mayo Clinic, a narcissistic personality is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration, which derives from the belief that they are superior human beings. They tend to have very little if any regard for others or their feelings, but are unable to accept even the slightest personal criticism. Due to this definition of narcissism, anyone living with someone who believes he or she is a superior human being will need to know the keys to surviving the narcissistic way of life.




1. Use behavior modification techniques to avoid revolving your life around them.




If you choose not to use key elements in modifying the narcissistic behavior, the key to surviving life among any narcissistic human being will be to agree that heaven, earth and the universe revolves around their existence. What they want will need to be what you want, what they think you should do will be what you choose to do, and what they need will need to be what you dedicate your life to achieving. In other words, you will need to place that human being within the center of your world, where you can run circles around them through everything you do, say or think. Otherwise, the narcissist will manipulate you until you do.




Because it's true that a narcissist can learn to behave in appropriate ways due to their need to believe they are superior human beings, having them face a few consequences will be an effective way to train them how to behave. Just keep in mind that the narcissist won't do what is right just because it's the right thing to do. They do what they do to improve their own reality, so the consequence must also revolve around them and their own quality of life.




For example, a narcissi can learn not to be a thief, if they are arrested and sent to jail when they steal things. The consequence needs to cause discomfort to them, before they will agree not to victimize other human beings. Although they don't care how you feel or how his or her actions have hurt you, they will behave when they see that their actions will hurt them personally. it's great to praise them when they behave, as it tends to shine the spotlight on them which is what they need. What they need is to achieve and maintain their feeling of superiority.




2. Be prepared for dramatic histrionics.




If anything goes wrong with the narcissist's day, they will create a scene which will be a dramatic over reaction to whatever it is that displeases them. Everything needs to go their way, and if someone or something interferes with their way of doing things, they tend to throw tempter tantrums and punish all around them. If you go on vacation with a narcissist, you'll need to eat what they want to eat, sleep where they want to sleep and schedule all activities around what they want to do. If you choose not to do what they want to do, you will find that the narcissist will find an excuse to accuse you of ruining their good time. Wherever you go, the narcissist will need to be in control.




3. Guard against the narcissist sense of entitlement.




Since a narcissist believes he or she is entitled to what they want or need, anyone living among one must guard their belongings. If you work among one, they will be the one who choose to take your lunch from the break room. They remain in their seat on a city bus even though an elderly person is struggling to stand. If you leave cash in view, they will say, "Finder's keepers." They take credit for what others achieve and will choose to step on you or shove past you in any situation, where they will claim to be the one who saved the day.




If you get sick, they'll get sicker. If you get rich, they'll need to be richer. If you achieve the benefits of something you did, they will find a way to dismiss what you've achieved. They will envy you and any attention you get, so even if your attention comes from an illness or any hard time in life, they will dramatically become even more victimized. Because they believe that everyone, including themselves, should be concerned with their well being, they won't have time to give to anyone else in return for what is given to them. Since they live within a sense of entitlement, everything and everyone surrounding them, should belong to them. That's why anyone living with a narcissist should guard everything they own, including their roles and ego.




4. Know when to advise the narcissist to seek treatment.




When life becomes a constant struggle for you and the narcissist to, due to the narcissist point of view, it's wise to help them realize that it will benefit them to seek treatment. Still, keep in mind that seeking treatment for them will benefit your life too. Sometimes depression and anxiety issues which stem from the narcissistic personality, will require medication to deal with those side effects of narcissism, but as of today, there is no medication effective in treating the narcissistic behavior. There are currently three psychotherapy techniques used to help improve life for all involved with a narcissist.




* Cognitive behavioral therapy:




This type of therapy helps the narcissist identify his or her unhealthy beliefs and behaviors. This will hopefully assist them in replacing those beliefs and behaviors to more positive ones.




* Family therapy:




This type of treatment will be the most vital key to living with a narcissist. Therapy for the entire family will explore conflicts, communication and problem solving to assist in coping with relationship issues that come up with this personality disorder.




* Group therapy:




The narcissist might meet with a group of other narcissists, along with a therapists guidance, to help the narcissist learn better listening skills and communication techniques which bring more positive relationships with others. The fact that others within the group therapy are narcissistic too, creates a unique opportunity for each to see through a new view what the disorder can do to their lives.




To Conclude:




Because of the difficulty in changing the behavior of someone who believes they are superior, therapy may be a lifetime fact of life for the narcissist and those who live with them.



To learn more about narcissistic personality disorder, go to the source of this and more information at MayoClinic.com

More about this author: Vicki Phipps

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